Max Payne

Before I begin my review of Max Payne, I must say that I have never played the video game, therefore there may be some things that I'm not aware of.

That being said, the movie was kinda wack. I mean, Marky Mark is a good actor (he has that brooding cop look down pat), but the dialogue was painful at times. Ludacris was deadpan, and seemed kinda bored. I know, I know, people who go to action movies aren't concerned with dialogue. I agree, but in the absence of action, what else is there? I'll boil this review down to 2 points.

One, it was very anti-climactic. the "big showdown" with the main villian is flaccid and the ending is weak as hell. I hate when the real villian is exposed late in the move and he turns out to be a coward. This guy was like the McCain of villians. Sure he has power and wealth, but he's one good chest cold away from death. Why waste your time running after this guy? Sure, you must avenge your loved ones, but a solid punch to the chest prolly woulda stopped this guys heart. It would been a lot cooler than just shooting him in slow motion.

My second issue is the attempt to make this drug into something ultra-scientific, yet mystical at the same time. Don't bs me....I know PCP when I see it, and that stuff isn't mystical at all. It's just liquid crazy. If you hit the streets in your local city and ask your freindly neighborhood street pharmacist for something that makes you damn-near invincible, gives you hallucinations, and doesn't leave visible marks, he'll probably give you a shot of PCP. This point ties in to my first point about the "big showdown." This villian is high as a kite on this PCP, and probably a dash of steriods, and is beating the holy hell out of Marky Mark. Then he dies from a single gunshot wound. From like a 9 milli. Not a shottie. Not a railgun. Not a gatling gun. A run of the mill "I found this in my dad's sock drawer" 9 milli.

Booo!!!!

I've seen people high on PCP get hit by large sedans, get up and run away. People on PCP jog from place to place on broken legs. This dude shouldn't even have flinched til about half the clip was in his back. But no, one single round to the back killed a doped up, steroided up, trained Marine seargeant. How disappointing. Our hero then becomes a PCP-head himself to kill the real villian.

The moral of this story: when all else fails, do drugs. You'll be a winner everytime!

Do you.