Slumdog Millionaire

I recently saw Slumdog Millionare, and the hype was justified. The story was good, it was told well, and executed well. Here are some thoughts:

I've been to Africa a few times and thought I saw poverty, but some of the parts of India are on a whole different level. The amount of heart, determination, and desperation needed for him to get where got by the end of the movie.

I can understand why some Indians felt the movie was exploitative and/or disrespectful to their country, but you can't deny the facts. Millions in India are living in horrible conditions while they (the offended) are comfortable and well-fed. Don't be mad. If you want India to be portrayed better, then make it better. That goes for any and every country in the world!

M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" is a dope song, and I hope she wins an award at the Grammys'.

In fact it's so dope that one of the hottest rap collabos of the year samples her song. You know your joint is hot if it's being sampled WHILE STILL IN ROTATION! If "Swagger Like Us" wins any Grammy's, M.I.A. should get one too.

Slumdog Milli follows the classic rags to riches plot but the way it's presented makes it fresh and exciting rather that boring and predictable.

GO see it.

Do you.

Quantum of Solace

In the 22nd Bond movie, Daniel Craig shows us that he is clearly the best Bond since the early Connery days. Quantum of Solace shows us a 007 that isn't concerned with drinks, women, suaveness, or seducing every woman in screen. This 007 is solely focused on vengeance. From beginning to end, this installment is packed with energy and action. I won't reveal to much, but I will point out my favorite things about the movie.

1. Globetrotting. England, Italy, Bolivia, Haiti, Austria, and Russia. All the locations were lush and exotic. Very nice backdrops for 007 to beat people senseless
2. The first person Bond murks. Man, I ain't never seen someone go through so much effort to kill! If it was me, I woulda emptied a clip at him, then went on my way. I guess that's why I'm not a secret agent.
3. Felix Leiter. I think he was the only black dude in the movie. By default, that also makes him the coolest. You'll remember him as the CIA agent that loaned Bond money in Casino Royale. He helps Bond out of another tight situation in Quantum.
4. Tom Ford. Keeps Bond's suit game top-notch. Can't be a 00 agent with a Men's Warehouse suit on.
5. Plot. No underwater, inner volcano or outer space secret hideouts. No borderline racist or homophobic undertones. This plot line is sequential to Casino Royale, and is very believable.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It ranks among the best Bond movies, and with 2 more slated to be done by Daniels, I'm sure they'll only get better.

I give it an A-

Do You.

Max Payne

Before I begin my review of Max Payne, I must say that I have never played the video game, therefore there may be some things that I'm not aware of.

That being said, the movie was kinda wack. I mean, Marky Mark is a good actor (he has that brooding cop look down pat), but the dialogue was painful at times. Ludacris was deadpan, and seemed kinda bored. I know, I know, people who go to action movies aren't concerned with dialogue. I agree, but in the absence of action, what else is there? I'll boil this review down to 2 points.

One, it was very anti-climactic. the "big showdown" with the main villian is flaccid and the ending is weak as hell. I hate when the real villian is exposed late in the move and he turns out to be a coward. This guy was like the McCain of villians. Sure he has power and wealth, but he's one good chest cold away from death. Why waste your time running after this guy? Sure, you must avenge your loved ones, but a solid punch to the chest prolly woulda stopped this guys heart. It would been a lot cooler than just shooting him in slow motion.

My second issue is the attempt to make this drug into something ultra-scientific, yet mystical at the same time. Don't bs me....I know PCP when I see it, and that stuff isn't mystical at all. It's just liquid crazy. If you hit the streets in your local city and ask your freindly neighborhood street pharmacist for something that makes you damn-near invincible, gives you hallucinations, and doesn't leave visible marks, he'll probably give you a shot of PCP. This point ties in to my first point about the "big showdown." This villian is high as a kite on this PCP, and probably a dash of steriods, and is beating the holy hell out of Marky Mark. Then he dies from a single gunshot wound. From like a 9 milli. Not a shottie. Not a railgun. Not a gatling gun. A run of the mill "I found this in my dad's sock drawer" 9 milli.

Booo!!!!

I've seen people high on PCP get hit by large sedans, get up and run away. People on PCP jog from place to place on broken legs. This dude shouldn't even have flinched til about half the clip was in his back. But no, one single round to the back killed a doped up, steroided up, trained Marine seargeant. How disappointing. Our hero then becomes a PCP-head himself to kill the real villian.

The moral of this story: when all else fails, do drugs. You'll be a winner everytime!

Do you.

Lakeview Terrace

Ahhh, racial tension. The stuff great movies are made of. In Samuel L. Jackson's 4,976th movie, he plays a racist LAPD officer (shocking, I know!) named Abel Turner, who doesn't care for his new neighbors Chris (Patrick Wilson) and Lisa (Kerry Washington). Chis is white and Kerry is black. Abel is black as well. I find it very interesting that Sam Jack's character is named after a sweet, GOD-fearing boy, murdered by a jealous brother, and an angry black gun-wielding revolutionary. One of these two Sam Jack plays extremely well. I'll let you guess which one.
I must say I was disappointed by the lack of ridiculous hair and needless profanity by Sam Jack, but there was no shortage of yelling and angry black man looks. My personal fav was, "I'm the police! You have to do what I say!" Classic Sam Jack.That man oozes hate!

Pat Wilson plays the role of the insecure white guy pretty darn well. I have a feeling he's dated black women before, although with much more disastrous results. I can tell he didn't have to dig too deeply to recreate pained looks of inadequacy and shame. He did step it up eventually, so I gota give him his props for that.

Our last main star is Kerry Washington. I've decided that she really isn't that great looking. Sorry. I think it's because she does this weird thing with her lips when she talks. It distracted me so much, I think I only heard two actually words come out of her mouth the entire movie. Mostly it just sounded like a bag of jumbo marshmellows being repeatedly squished.

These three characters are thrown together in the midst of the annual California wildfires, which is a revered pastime of the Golden State. That Golden color comes from the tips of raging fires that threaten to devastate California's hallowed over-priced mansions. If only there was a way to protect these precious symbols of American consumerism. Who will weep for the burned out shell of a once majestic 7 bedroom estate that once stood proudly perched atop the sweeping cliffs, gazing over the valley of the middle class? To what symbol of hope will the destitute masses look to, and aspire to achieve? Who will weep!?! Wow...um, sorry.
Anyway, estute viewers and cinema geeks will notice that as the fires inch closer, the intensity of their interactions flare up as well. Very clever Neil LaBute, very clever indeed. Must've gone to one of those fancy Ivy League schools - you can't harness that kind of creative energy at a publicly funded unversity. Not at all. To wrap things up, the movie ends in a hail of gunfire and cheesy alls well that ends well movie fluff. In these unstable financial times, I'd recommend saving my $9.75 and wait for it to show up in the previously viewed section at Blockbuster. Use that $9.75 to buy about 35 shares of Lehman Bros...You'll thank me later.


Tay-Tay Willomane's final verdict: If you missed the movie you actually came to see, and don't wanna waste that gas, go see it.

Do you.